'A Mermaid in the Bath'—a new novel by Milton Marmalade

'A Mermaid in the Bath' front cover design

A mermaid turns up in your bath, without explanation or warning—what do you do? It's almost as disruptive as the search for Truth (or worse) finding it. To complicate matters further, Lionel falls in love with her just before she disappears into the clutches of the evil Dr Squidtentacles.

This is a ripping yarn with some very slow car chases involving a Morris Minor and a slow ping-pong duel Matrix-style, not to mention (but I will anyway) a Greek chorus of Cornish villagers and a description of the mythical St Doris Island and what took place there in the reign of Queen Elizabeth I.

Between chapters of adventure not a lot more absurd than real life are philosophical ponderings by Professor Neville Twistytrouser of St Doris College, Oxford together with testy rebuttals by Professor Alphonse Pince-Nez of the department of Saltimbanques de Mer at the Sorbonne, not to mention (but I have, haven't I?) the fully justified complaints of Milton Marmalade's exotic Welsh secretary, Myfanwy.

Publication date: 31st August 2016. You can pre-order from Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk or for that matter Amazon.ca or Amazon.co.jp now.